Dam Good Cake!!

When I was growing up there was this cake...I should just call it "Voldemort Cake" but...that would be too odd.  But it was called "Better Than Sex Cake" when I was growing up.  The first time I heard the name of this cake the woman that was serving it was serving it at a church function and she wouldn't even speak the word "sex" above a whisper which made me laugh even back then and makes me think of "He Who Must Not Be Named" now that I am an adult and then I laugh at both.  Now...being married for 9 years and having had the cake, I can tell you...it isn't better than sex however, it IS damn good cake.  There is no denying that.  

I wonder who came up with that ridiculous name??  Usually I research my recipes but I am almost embarrassed for whomever named that cake lol...she/he was obviously a deprived individual lol...  I have to change the subject or it will veer severely to the left field and become a "how to" post for something that is NOT cake if I am not careful lol.. 

Moving on...

The overwhelming majority of these recipes begin something like this...

1 box devil's food cake mix
1 jar of caramel ice cream topping

I'm going to stop RIGHT there.  There is NO reason to do that!  There are plenty of made from scratch cake recipes that are SO awesome that they leave box mixes in the dust!  On flavor every time, but on this recipe...on ease as well.  It isn't hard to make a wonderful cake from scratch at all.  You just have to be committed before going into it.

Then there is the caramel sauce that gets mixed with a WHOLE can of sweetened condensed milk.  Store bought sauces are so convoluted these days, I mourn for the people who choose to buy them instead of just make them at home.  Homemade ALWAYS tastes better.  Always.  Period.  The cake and caramel sauce for this cake are worth making yourself and I promise...you'll never use a box mix for Devil's Food Cake again.  Ever.  I would hope that you'll never use a store bought caramel sauce after this recipe just based on the extra preservatives and JUNK that is added to the store bought sauce.  But, there are some folks that just aren't scared by that stuff or grossed out by it.  

Let's get started.

Dam Good Cake
1 recipe of caramel sauce
1 can organic sweetened condensed milk
1 tub TruWhip organic whipped topping
1-2 c. Heath or Skor toffee bits
1 recipe of Devil's Food Cake

Devil's Food Cake
4 oz. unsweetened organic baking chocolate (Camino is good)
1/4 c. Callebaut cocoa powder
1 1 /4 c. boiling water
3/4 c. flour ( I use King Arthur Flour )
3/4 c. cake flour ( I use King Arthur Flour )
1 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. sea salt
2 sticks of organic unsalted butter
1 1/2 c. packed organic brown cane sugar
3 large organic cage free brown eggs
1/2 c. sour cream or goat yogurt (makes a difference!!)
1 tsp. vanilla paste

Preheat oven to 350 F

Grease a 15 x 10 inch glass cake dish with butter and line bottom of the pan with parchment paper as well. 

Combine the unsweetened chocolate and cocoa in a bowl and pour the boiling water over them and whisk until it is smooth. Sift together the flours, baking soda, and salt onto large sheet parchment or waxed paper and set it aside.

Place the butter in the bowl of your stand mixer and beat at medium speed until creamy and then add brown sugar and beat on high until it is light and fluffy. Stop mixer and scrape down bowl with rubber spatula. Increase speed to medium/high and add eggs one at a time, beating about 30 seconds after each addition. Reduce speed to medium and then add your sour cream/goat yogurt and vanilla and beat until well combined. Stop the mixer and scrape down bowl again. With mixer on low, add about one third of flour mixture, followed by about one half of chocolate mixture. Repeat, ending with flour mixture and then beat until just combined. Do not overbeat. Remove bowl from mixer; scrape bottom and sides of bowl with rubber spatula and mix gently to thoroughly combine.

Turn batter out into the baking pan and bake for 35-45 minutes checking it with a toothpick at 35 minutes and every 5 minutes after that until a toothpick inserted comes out clean.

While cake is baking make your caramel sauce to mix with the sweetened condensed milk for the poke holes.

Caramel Sauce
1/2 c. packed organic brown cane sugar
1 T. cornstarch
1/3 c. whipping cream
2 T. organic corn syrup or brown rice syrup
1 T. organic unsalted butter
1/2 tsp. vanilla paste or vanilla extract
1/4 c. water

In a small, heavy bottomed saucepan combine sugar and cornstarch.

Then stir in the water and turn the burner on to medium heat.  After that has heated up a little bit and then add in the cream, syrup, and butter.  I always use brown rice syrup rather than corn syrup.

Cook and stir it until bubbling (it might even look like the cream is curdling).  Cook, constantly stirring, for two more minutes.  Remove from the heat and stir in the vanilla paste/extract.

The sauce is done, now you need to add the can of sweetened condensed milk to the caramel sauce...

Your cake should be done baking by now....

 While the cake is still warm out of the oven grab a wooden spoon or dowel (something with a small round end on it...but larger than a toothpick of course...) so you can poke holes into the cake to pour the sauce into...

Poke holes in a pattern or at random...it really doesn't matter how you do it...let the children help if they are old enough!  This is the perfect cake to turn the children loose on.  Once the holes are in the cake, pour the sauce all over the top making sure you allow it to get into all of the holes.

Now...no matter how many times I tried to top those holes off....it didn't stay, but I found out later it didn't need to....those holes were filled alright!  Filled just right...  At this stage the cake needs to cool to room temperature completely and then be refrigerated for 1 hour before adding one tub of whipped topping to the top of the cake.  Once you add the whipped topping (I used TruWhip...it is organic but not too hard to find in places that are regular grocery stores.  Even our base commissary carries it!) sprinkle on as many or as little toffee bits as you like.

 After doing this..and subsequently trying the cake, I've decided I would be more conservative with the toffee bits next time or leave them off completely.  It felt like an odd texture when it was paired with everything else.  But that was just me, the Mister LOVED it...he was devouring a slice last night in BED lol...a sure sign of true love with him.  He thinks I should keep the toffee on...I told him I can sprinkle it on the cake on a slice by slice basis in the future.  He seemed to be okay with that notion lol

 
When you fork into this cake you are enticed with every bite by the sweet, sticky caramel sauce and super moist...and tender devil's food cake to go right ahead and take another bite, and then another...and another lol...  Better than sex?  Uh...not in my opinion.  But...it IS damn good cake.  On that my husband and I both agree.  Happy baking!!

Best Lemon Bars EVER!!

We had this heat wave hit us back at the end of October that threw me for a loop when we were seeing temps hit the high 70's for most of the second to last week of the month, and even one day it hit 82.  No bueno.  Where was my autumn?  I dealt with this heat the only way I knew how...lemons...  Sure, that sounds odd but, think about it.  You'll get there eventually.  
While you're making that connection in your mind about how lemons can help you cool down, I'mna give you the BEST recipe for lemon bars I've ever used.  I use it in the summer primarily because it is a bar you serve cold however....if there are enough people in the house that turn up ill, I whip out this recipe and force feed lemon bars to the sick people in my home.  Why?  Because I always add real lemon oil to this recipe.  Lemon oil has the ability to cleanse your body of toxins, supports the sympathetic nervous system, and it stimulates your immune system to respond when it is under attack.  Lemon bars should be eaten year round lol....or at least add lemon oil to your water every day.  But, I vote lemon bars for everyone!!

This recipe is super easy as far as making it and it isn't time consuming for those of you with littles.  This can be made dairy free without any issues.  Substitute the butter for vegan butter and substitute the whole milk for unsweetened soy milk.  Flavor doesn't suffer a wink!  It is all about the depth of the lemon flavor and the texture of the shortbread on the bottom.

Lemon Bars

Shortbread Crust
1 3/4 c. flour
2/3 c. organic powdered cane sugar
1/4 c. cornstarch
3/4 tsp. sea salt
1 1/2 sticks of unsalted butter

Lemon Filling
4 large organic cage free brown eggs (taste is way better!)
1 1/3 c. organic cane sugar
3 T. flour
1 tsp. lemon oil
2/3 c. lemon juice
1/3 c. whole milk
1/8 tsp. sea salt

Preheat oven to 350 F

Grease the edges and part of the bottom of a 9 x 13 inch cake pan, then line the bottom with parchment paper.

In the bowl of your stand mixer whisk together flour, salt, cornstarch, and sugar then attach the bowl to the machine and blend in the butter.

  

When the mixture looks like yellowish colored crumbs pour out the mixture into the bottom of the greased pan and pat it into the pan firmly.

  

Put it in the fridge for 30 minutes, then into the oven and bake for 20 minutes.

While the crust is baking in your stand mixer whip (with your stand mixer whisk) the eggs for a little bit, getting some air into them.  Then add in the sugar and wait for it to gain a bit more volume.  After 3 minutes add in the flour, lemon oil, milk, and sea salt.  Let it whip for 10 minutes or so.  It will help the sugar not settle to the bottom before you turn it out into the pan.

When the timer goes off on the crust, remove the pan from the oven and turn the temperature down to 325 F.  Then pour the lemon filling on top of the crust and carefully return it back to the oven.

Bake the bars for 20 more minutes or until the middle of the pan doesn't jiggle anymore when you touch the pan.  Allow the bars to cool on a wire rack completely before dusting the bars with additional organic powdered cane sugar.

***If you aren't serving them right away skip sprinkling the sugar on them and instead store them in the fridge until you're ready to serve them.  Right before serving them, sprinkle them with powdered sugar.  Sometimes bars WILL absorb the sugar because of possible condensation gathering on the top of the bars.  Eventually the lemon filling will stop absorbing the sugar.  Just keep sprinkling it lol... Trust me.

And YES! you see a metal pan in that picture up there ^^^ and a glass pan in the photo above that one.  I made these bars twice in the 3 days it took me to get these photos onto my laptop and write out this entry lol...  Nothing should be more convincing to you about how great this recipe is!

O emmm geee!!  These are some of the best lemon bars I've ever had...hence the name.  They shortbread on the bottom is PER-fect!  It is snaps juuuuust a bit with you take the initial bite but it just melts in your mouth as you eat.  The lemon oil takes the lemon flavor to a new level...a place where I've never been with a lemon bar quite frankly.  I can't imagine ever finding a recipe I like better.  I just refuse to believe it will happen.  They are a refreshing tid bit to have with a cup of tea or as a palate cleanser after a meal like fajitas or some great Indian or Thai food.  It really helps clear the deck with spicy foods that normal park it on your tongue after you eat them.  Trust me, you'll fall in love with this recipe and be sharing it at all of the potlucks and picnics before too long.  Enjoy!

Ya Mon!!

Ah yes...we've come to the time of year when everyone (except me) wishes they were on some remote tropical island sipping something with a straw in it, eating exotic fruits by the truckload, and partaking in any one of a dozen warm climate region fabulous cuisines.  I LOVE being cold.  I'd rather be cold than hot ANY day.  But not many people I know share that sentiment.  I know more snowbirds that skidaddle down to Arizona for the whole of Minnesota winter (which sometimes lasts until June...) than I know folks that would do the Polar Plunge.  To each their own...

One meal I regularly end up announcing on my Facebook page that I am making for dinner is Jerk Chicken and Coconut Rice.  Everyone says it sounds wonderful, but I honestly can't remember a single person asking for the recipe.  I already know why....they assume it is time consuming.  Ha!  Not even close.  In fact, when I can't figure out what to make for dinner and it is already 2pm I know I can marinate this chicken for a couple hours and soak my rice that whole time and flip on my burners at 4:30 and dinner will be on the table by 5pm without batting an eyelash.  The biggest dilemma I have once I decide to make this meal is what vegetable to serve with it that the children will actually eat.  They eat the chicken and the rice but...the accompanying veggie is always a toss up.  We went with carrots this time....it went over with mixed results.  Let's get started...the chicken has to soak in the marinade for at least 2 hours.  Over night is great, but not even close to necessary.  Over night just ensures full breach on the "soak in" factor, but 2 hours gets the job done well enough that people want seconds on their chicken...even the toddler.

Jamaican Jerk Chicken
3 lbs. of organic chicken (I ALWAYS use chicken thighs for this!)
6 chopped scotch bonnet peppers (habaneros)
2 T. dried thyme
2 T. dried allspice
8 cloves of garlic, minced
3 white onions, chopped
2 T. sugar
2 T. salt
2 tsp. ground black pepper
2 tsp. cinnamon
2 tsp. ginger
2 tsp. nutmeg
1/2 c. extra virgin olive oil
1/2 c. soy sauce
juice of one lime (3 T.)
1 tsp. lime oil
1 tsp. orange oil
1 c. orange juice
1 c. white vinegar

Roughly chop the onion, garlic, and scotch bonnet peppers and then toss ALL of the ingredients in a magic bullet or blender type appliance.  Turn it on and let it go until you have completely liquified the whole mixture.

Put the chicken into a gallon freezer ziploc bag and pour the marinade over the chicken.  Squeeze all of the air out of the bag, seal it, and pop it in the fridge for at least 2 hours.

 At least 1 hour before you plan on serving dinner, preheat the oven to 325 F, remove the chicken from the fridge to bring it closer to room temperature before cooking, and get the coconut rice started so everything is done at the same time.

NOW...typically this coconut rice dish is known as "rice and peas" and by "peas" they mean red kidney beans.  My Sprout, however, wants nothing to do with those so I haven't put them in my coconut rice for years now.  The last time I served it "properly" was when our folks were visiting us in Canada, over a year.  Moving on...

Coconut Rice
3 c. rice
2 cans of organic coconut milk
1 can of coconut water
3 c. of water
5 cloves of garlic, minced
1 uncut scotch bonnet pepper
3 scallion stalks
2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. black pepper
1 T. extra virgin olive oil
2 sprigs of fresh thyme

Toss all of the ingredients in the pot on medium heat and let it come to a gentle boil, stirring it occasionally.

I am sure you can tell by looking at the photo that there isn't a scotch bonnet pepper floating in the pot.  Yes, another component that the children won't tolerate well.  For whatever reason, they don't seem to mind the heat from the marinade on the chicken, but when I made this rice with a pepper once they spit it out and said it was "too spicy".  Yeah, the pepper wasn't even sliced into and it made it too spicy.  Oh well..

While that is doing its thing, it is time to flash fry the chicken.  Get the cooking area ready by putting the bag of chicken on a paper town so as you move them with tongs from the bag to the hot pan you don't drip the oily, spicy marinade all over the counter.

Put a small amount of olive oil in the bottom of the pan on medium heat, and then put each chicken thigh in the pan, top side down.  You want to flash fry it at a fairly high temperature to create a loverly caramelization with the sugars in the marinade.

Once the tops are cooked, cover the whole pan with a sheet of tin foil and toss it in the oven to finish.  Make sure that you are using a pan that is ALL metal so nothing melts when you put the pan in the oven.  It needs to have a metal handle to be safe....and then PLEASE remember to use a HAND MITT or something to avoid burning yourself!

Allow the chicken to braise in the oven for 15-20 minutes then remove to cool slightly before serving.  Keep it covered while it cools to prevent the meat from drying out as it rests.  The rice should be finished at about the same time.  Remove the scallions and the sprigs of thyme before serving.  When I am serving this for dinner and there are more adults than children to consider I serve this with a mango salsa over top of the chicken to add a fresh component with a beautiful flash of color.  But lol...for now because we're feeding the 4.5 year old and the 18 month old...we're going with carrots.  Which the 18 month old didn't touch and the 4.5 year old had to be bribed to consume.  *sigh*  I've mentioned how much I love being a mother, right??

When I make this meal I purposefully make SO much of it that there is enough for leftovers for days and lunch for the Mister as much as he decides he wants it.  When I eat my dinner I take a bite of the chicken with a bite of the rice.  The two components together in every bite is almost...orgasmic.  When my Dad and Momma2 were here last month she asked for the recipe.  When my Momma and step dad were here the month before them...my Momma wanted the recipe.  Last year when our other folks were here, they wanted the recipe as well.  I don't think I've fed this meal to a single person that didn't want it again and didn't get the recipe before they left our home.  It is pretty addicting.  I'm not kiddin...it is almost 11pm as I am typing this out and I am convincing myself that it is "only 30 minutes" to make a batch of the rice and that it is totally doable....and I should just hurry up and go make a batch.  Man...I love that rice lol...  Hello my name is Foodnatic, and I am a Jamaicaholic...  One addiction I don't mind having.  I'll apologize now for getting you hooked. 

The Only Fudge Brownie Recipe You'll EVER Need!!!

Okay, so one of my favorite indulgences in life is chocolate.  I've been pretty honest about that with you on here over the past 3.5 years.  So it wouldn't be a stretch to tell you that one of my absolute favorite things to closet binge (No, I don't actually hide in a closet...but no one on the planet has any idea how many brownies I can actually put away in one day.  It is astounding...) is fudge brownies, would it??  Didn't think so...

I'm not going to bother with a history of brownies or when I had my first taste of a brownie, I'mna get right to the recipe because lol...let's face it, I'm hungry and there is chocolate involved.  Also, these are TOTALLY the easiest brownies you'll ever make!  You'll wonder why you've ever bothered with box mixes.  Let's get started, no time to waste!

Fudgiest Fudge Brownies
2 1/2 sticks unsalted butter
2 1/2 c. organic cane sugar
1 1/2 c. + 4 T. cocoa powder (I use Callebaut...it is THE best!)
1/2 tsp. sea salt
2 tsp. vanilla paste or extract
4 large free range brown eggs (yeah, brown makes a difference!)
1 c. all purpose flour (I always use King Arthur)
1 1/3 c. walnuts or pecans, optional (I didn't add them)

Preheat your oven to 325 F

Grease well and line 9 x 13 cake pan with parchment paper and set it aside.

In a large glass bowl gently whisk together sugar and cocoa powder.  Cut butter into 1 T. pats and toss them in the bowl with the cocoa and the sugar.  At this point you can either pop it in the microwave for 1 minute, check it and let it go for 1 more minute and then stir OR you can go to the bother of putting water in a large pot and allowing the butter to melt in a double boiler method.  (But, I have a 3.5 month old, an 18 month old, and a 4.5 year old...I'm goin for the microwave every time with this particular recipe.)

Make sure you mix the ingredients together well, scraping down the bowl if necessary to make sure all of the cocoa powder makes it into the butter and sugar properly.  Add in the vanilla paste/extract and salt; stir well.  Now start adding your eggs...tedious as it is going to be, add your eggs one at a time stirring the mixture well after each addition. 

(Now...you can keep stirring if you feel like you have the upper arm strength to do so, but this batter gets awful thick very quickly.  I never make it through the addition of the flour without having to whip out my Cuisinart electric hand mixer.    I've never been able to mix this in my stand mixer without having to stop it and scrape down the sides eleventy billion times to make sure the bottom and sides of the bowl to make sure there isn't any rogue batter not getting flour mixed into it....  Just use an electric hand mixer folks...)

Your batter should be beautifully glossy at this point.  All that is left to do is add the flour.  Mix the flour in well; you may have to scrape down the edges once or twice.  When you have the flour completely incorporated turn the batter out into the greased cake pan and spread around so it is evenly distributed in the pan.

Bake for 35-40 minutes, checking at 35 minutes with a toothpick.  If they aren't done, check again at 40 minutes.  Take them out when the toothpick inserts and comes out clean.  Put on a cooling rack and allow to cool completely before eat them.

At this point you have options.  One of my favorite things to do to brownies is turn them into German Chocolate Brownies.  I accomplish this by simply adding my Coconut Pecan Frosting to the top of my pan of brownies.

Biggity Bam!....awesomeness.  I can't eat more than one at a time, but with organic cane sugar....you don't need to.  When you eat REAL sugar, your body gets its fix quickly.  Also fabulous on these would be a peanut butter frosting.

  
Errr meeee gerrrrrsh, there are so many wonderful ways to enjoy these, but for me...on most days...I like my brownies NAKED.  Brownies in the buff....  Hope you love them as much as we do in this house!! 

12 Days of Christmas, Day 12: Bonus Recipe 2: Nanaimo Bars

Our time in Canada was checkered with various experiences...  I almost died...three times, we had a beautiful little baby girl, I made wonderful friends, got told to "go the hell back where I came from" once, and ate my way through my 3 years there with mixed results.  One of my fondest food memories of Canada, however, was a little dessert shop in the downtown core of Ottawa.  It was a vegan shop that made everything from scones to cupcakes, cookies, and pies.  Another tasty morsel she recommended to me that I tried was something called a nanaimo bar.  Errrr me gerrrrrrshhhhh...

Nanaimo bars...  *scuse me...I'm having a moment.....*  Mmmm...

So, there is this place in British Columbia (a different province...provinces are like what we here in the states call a "state".) called Nanaimo.  Pronounced "na-nay-mo"....say it with me....na-nay-mo.  Get to know the name well, because you're going to have to tell people what it is that you just fed them that they fell in love with.  Trust me.  This bar won "best of" at a baking contest back in the day...after having tried it and becoming shamelessly addicted to it, I understand why the woman won and the predicament your friends are about to find themselves in once they try these.  You've been warned...

There are some discrepancies about the amounts of things that go into certain parts of this dessert.  One thing is for CERTAIN, the middle layer has to have Bird's custard in it.  There is no give on that.  I get my Bird's off of Amazon.com just like every other cotton pickin' thing on the planet that I can't find in local stores when I am stationed in certain places.  Every duty station has a problem like this with some item or another.  No place has been immune from it yet.  Don't skip the Bird's.  If you do...you didn't make a nanaimo bar.  You just didn't.  Some people have told me that I "could" make a passable pan of bars using vanilla pudding packet powder instead of Bird's but....I somehow doubt that.

Nanaimo Bars

Crust
1/2 c. unsalted butter, softened
1 large egg
1/4 c. sugar
1/3 c. cocoa powder (I used Callebaut, I buy it on Amazon.com)
1 1/2 c. graham cracker crumbs
1 c. unsweetened coconut
1/2 c. crushed pecans or pecan meal

Custard Layer
1/2 c. unsalted butter, softened
2 T. + 2 tsp. heavy cream
2 T. Bird's custard powder
2 c. powdered sugar
1/2 tsp. vanilla paste or vanilla extract

Chocolate Topping
4 oz. semi-sweet chocolate
2 T. unsalted butter

Line a 9 x 13 inch cake pan with aluminum foil, grease it with butter, and then set it aside.

*I used a 9 x 9 inch pan for my bars because I liked the thickness of them, but it is completely unnecessary to do that, and quite frankly they aren't easy to fit into your mouth when you make them that thick.  I have a pretty small mouth as adults go, so this may just be a personal problem.  But, if you want your friends and family to attempt their own version of cranial kinesis (what people call a snake "unhinging their jaw") in order to eat these bars...it is best to use a 9 x 13 inch pan.

Beat your egg in a medium sized bowl.  In a large sauce pan over low heat, melt the butter, sugar, and cocoa.  Whisk a small amount of the hot melted mixture into the beaten egg to temper it.  Then pour the tempered mixture into the sauce pan, whisking it constantly.  Cook and stir the mixture until it reaches 160 degrees and appears to begin to thicken.  Remove the pan from the heat and stir in the graham cracker crumbs, crushed pecans, and the coconut.  Press the mixture into the foil lined pan and set it aside to cool completely.  Do NOT put the custard layer on the crust until it is totally cooled.  You may want to refrigerate it beforehand just to be sure it is no longer hot.

While the crust layer is cooling in a large mixing bowl beat together the butter, cream, custard powder, and powdered sugar until well blended.  Spread over the cooled crust and refrigerate at least 30 minutes before putting the chocolate topping on it.

To make the chocolate topping melt the 4 ounces of semi sweet chocolate in the microwave with the butter.  Put it in for 30 seconds, remove it from the microwave to stir it, then put it back in for 30 more seconds, and remove it to stir again.  Repeat these steps using ONLY 30 second bursts of time until the chocolate is melted and completely smooth.

Pour the chocolate mixture over the chilled custard filling.  You can either spread it with a spatula or you can turn the pan about in your hands to get it into the corners completely.  When it seems evenly distributed, set it on the counter, and jiggle the pan about a little bit to smooth out the top completely.  Refrigerate for at least 1 hour before cutting and serving.  The bars will keep up to 1 month in a solid block like that covered and refrigerated.  Once you slice them, they will keep for about 1 week covered in the fridge.

When you want to cut them to serve, remove the foil from the pan, and slice the bars on the counter so the knife can completely go through the bars without hitting the sides of the pan constantly.  This will also prevent you from splintering the chocolate topping.  It is also a good idea, for presentation purposes only, to clean the knife after every pass you take so it doesn't deposit the custard layer onto the edges of your chocolate topping...like this...

Believe it or not lol...I did that on purpose so you could see what I meant.  But, that may not matter to you in the least.  Either way, you've been warned.

These bars are extremely thick when put in a 9 x 9 inch square pan.

Like I said, they were almost too thick for me to even fit them in my mouth.  Then again...also, like I said....I have a smallish mouth for an adult.

They were really quite tasty.  I wasn't sure if I was going to let any leave the house when I sent trays of goodies to work with the Mister.  My waistline begged me to let some go though...

I love these bars with passion that I almost feel is inappropriate.  I normally pick apart each component of the things I make and tout their qualities and assert how they perfectly compliment the dish as a whole, but the fact is with this particular dessert it the individual layers themselves would taste absolutely awful without the others.  I've never experienced this with a bar.  But likewise, I've never found one that I could honestly say was something I would drive across town for and buy by the half dozen every other month for 3 years.  And for these...I did...and it was worth it every single time.  The folks that work with my Mister certainly seemed to enjoy them.  The Mister himself...well, you know him.  He merely "liked" them.  He didn't love them.  The love he saves for ME.

12 Days of Christmas, Day 12: Kringle

Kringle is a dessert that, being from the northern Midwest, I am quite familiar with.  They are common enough that there is a company in Wisconsin that does nothing but make Danish Kringles year 'round.  I know because I have ordered one...it was delightful.  But I couldn't help but wonder if I could make it myself.  You know...that whole "fresh is best" theory that I have.  I wonder...

I am sure that the recipe that follows is a total sacrilege of the tradition, but...you gotta start somewhere, and they weren't going to advertize their recipe, now were they?  Nope.

Kringle

Filling
2 c. pecans
1 1/2 c. light brown sugar
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. salt
8 T. (1 stick) unsalted butter, cut into 1 T. pats

Dough
4 c. flour
16 T. (2 sticks) of unsalted butter, 1 T. pats and cold
4 T. lard
2 T. powdered sugar
2 1/4 tsp. rapid-rise yeast
3/4 tsp. salt
2 c. sour cream
2 T. cold water
1 large egg, beaten

Icing
1 c. powdered sugar
2 T. whole milk
1/2 tsp. vanilla paste or vanilla extract

Make the filling by processing sugar, pecans, cinnamon, and salt in food processor until pecans are coarsely ground. Add butter and pulse until mixture resembles coarse meal. Transfer to bowl.

To make the dough add flour, sugar, yeast, salt, butter, and shortening to empty food processor and pulse until mixture resembles coarse meal. Transfer to bowl and stir in sour cream until dough forms. Turn dough out onto lightly floured surface and form a foot and a half long roll.  Refrigerate the dough for at least 30 minutes.  I did mine overnight just because I was busy.

To roll out the dough roll the dough into a length of approximately 48 inches long and 6 inches high.  Starting 2 inches in from the left end pour the filling down the center and bring it all the way down to the other end of the strip leaving 2 inches without filling on it.

  

With a small bowl of water (the 2 T.) at the ready, dip your fingers in the water and slowly run them down the filling lightly.  Then fold the top edge of dough down onto the filling.

Now, dip your hands in the water again, getting just the tips of your fingers wet, and run the fingers along the flap of dough that you just folded down onto the filling.  Then fold the bottom flap of dough over the other flap you just folded down from the top.

Now using the parchment paper, lift up the long edge of paper furthest away from you and roll the dough towards you, so the seam is now down on the parchment paper.  Once you've done that, carefully gather the two ends of the kringle and bring them to each other and open the flap of dough on the left hand side and insert the end of dough in your right hand.  (Don't worry, if you think it will effect the appearance, it won't.  The icing will cover up the flap.)

  

Let the kringle rest for 4 to 12 hours before baking.  When you've preheated the oven to 350 degrees, brush the kringle with a beaten egg.

Bake the kringle for 50-60 minutes, rotating the sheet 180 degrees half way through baking.  ***The filling may ooze out if the seals broke during baking.  Don't worry.  The filling candies when it oozes out.  Any that presents itself can be cut away from the kringle easily and again...can be covered up with the icing job you do when the kringle cools.  Wait a minimum of 1 hour for the kringle to cool before you ice it.

To make the icing whisk together the sugar, milk, and vanilla in a bowl until any lumps of sugar are gone.  Drizzle the icing over the kringle with a spoon or do what I do and buy those short, fat bottles made by Wilton from Wal-Mart and put the icing in there and squirt it onto the kringle evenly.

  

The kringle is effectively made out of bread dough...yeast.  So, this won't keep much longer than 2 days without you needing to do different things to refresh and loosen the glutens in it somehow.  Which is usually....warming it up, and that's about it and even then.....there is just nothing like the same day as it was made.  Ever.

Make sure that you cut the kringle into sane sized slices when you serve it....  That way people have the choice of eating it with their hands or a fork.  Both are appropriate.  One last side note, the only other fillings I would bother putting in these are spiced apple or cherry.  Not many other fruits would hold up to the baking time that the dough calls for.  Raspberries would disintegrate completely, for instance.  I suppose you could try some other stone fruits (peaches, etc.) but, cherries seem to be the most traditionally Dutch.

Everyone that tried the kringle loved it.  I loved it.  Truly....that should be all that matters, but I am a people pleaser.  The Mister liked it, the in laws LOVED it (ate almost half of it themselves....good use, I say!), and the half of it I sent to work with the Mister for his office mates liked it as well.  The one guy who called it a "squashed cinnamon roll" is on my naughty list for Christmas though.

The dough turned out beautifully tender and flaky, the filling was just the right amount of nutty and sweet and the icing added beauty and a creaminess that I didn't expect.  Almost the perfect dessert.  But this is an item that could serve as a dessert OR an article on the Christmas breakfast table.  Scrambled eggs, meat of your choosing, slab of kringle, and a tall glass of fresh squeezed orange juice.  Sounds like a plan to me!

12 Days of Christmas, Day 11: Eggnog Cake

One of my Mister's favorite things to have around the holidays starts appearing on shelves even before Thanksgiving now (seriously....could people START celebrating Christmas after Thanksgiving instead of the day after Halloween?  Thank you.) which seems odd to me because it is most widely consumed at Christmas and not any other time of the year unless you make it at home.

Eggnog.

Excuse me while I vomit in my mouth a little...  *gags*  There.  All better.  

I'm not sure what it is but, I've never been able to handle the texture of the drink, the thickness of it, or even the copious amounts of nutmeg that they use to try to cover up the fact that you're drinking liquified egg with a dash of cream.  But, for whatever reason, the Mister loves it.  He and I clash on a number of flavors (ahem...beans on toast) and textures (again...beans on toast) and sometimes even methods of cooking (He cracks an egg into a pan, lets it cook a couple seconds and then attempts to scramble it in the pan.  It never does.  The whites never fully mix with the yolk so it results in dry, narsty whites and an over all feeling of shredded rubber in your mouth when you eat it.  He wonders why the 4.5 year old won't eat his eggs in the morning.).  So, the eggnog thing is something we've just decided to agree to disagree on in our household.  *mentally adds it to the list of the other billion things*

I see thousands of cartons of eggnog in stores every year and wonder who these people are.  I only know one.  It can't all be for him.  So, one can deduce there are a lot of folks out there that like the flavors associated with eggnog.  It's Christmas...the season of perpetual hope...so why not extend the olive branch to the person who should matter most (next to my children of course..).  I bought him a carton of eggnog.  He drank it.  Show's over right?  Nope, still not satisfied.  You know those folks who want to love the same things their spouses love...sometimes?  Yeah, I am one of those...

I love all things baked.  So, getting to love eggnog in terms of baking seemed easy enough to translate.  You just pick things apart to get to the heart of the matter.  Eggs, milk, nutmeg....you get the idea.  That is how the idea of eggnog cake was formed.

Eggnog Cake
18 T. (2 1/4 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
3 c. flour
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
3/4 c. buttermilk, at room temperature
1 T. vanilla paste or vanilla extract
1 T. lemon juice
2 c. sugar
3 large eggs + 1 yolk, at room temperature
1/4 c. brandy
1 tsp. nutmeg
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
1 1/2 c. powdered sugar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and grease and flour your cake pan (I use a 12 cup sized bundt pan) and set it aside.

Combine flour, salt, baking powder, and baking soda in a small bowl and set it aside.  In a small mixing bowl whisk together buttermilk, lemon juice, and the vanilla.  In the bowl of a stand mixer or large mixing bowl beat the butter and sugar together until they are slightly pale and fluffy.  Add in the eggs, one at a time and the yolk.  With the speed on low add in the flour mixture and the butter milk mixture alternating starting with the flour.  (It would be best if you used a paddle that had a scraper on the side or stop to scrape down the sides after each addition.)

Combine 1 c. of the prepared batter with 1 T. of brandy, nutmeg, and the cinnamon in a separate bowl and stir it until it is well mixed.  Spread 1 c. of the plain cake batter into the bottom of the cake pan and then spread the spiced batter over that.  Spoon the remaining batter over the spiced batter and bake for 50-60 minutes or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean.

Allow to cool on a cooling rack for 10 minutes then invert the pan and turn out the cake onto waxed paper.  Allow to cool completely before putting the icing on the cake.

To make the icing mix the powdered sugar with 3 T. of brandy OR 3 T. of buttermilk (I used buttermilk) and allow it to cascade down the edges of the cake.  Let the icing set before serving.  It will take about 25 minutes.

Alright, fine.  So....this cake was mildly awesome.  I can see some of the merits of the combination of eggs, nutmeg, and buttermilk.  To me, personally, fresh is best when it comes to this sort of thing.  I prefer things to be made right before I eat them.  This cake was no different.  I could learn to love eggnog in this form easily enough.  The cake was moist and tender and the icing kept it that way and it also helped lend a hand in the constant battle of cake having to be consumed with a glass of milk.  The icing was enough.  The true test was...did the Mister like it.  The answer was yes!  He absolutely liked it.  His parents happened to love it as well.  If you need me, I'll just be over here in the corner....being awesome.  (If you knew me...you'd know I don't really believe that lol...)