12 March, 2011

Swing and a MISS!

I have privately been getting inundated with requests for reviews on vegan and gluten free foods.  Whether it be offered on menus or bought from a store; the requests ask me to touch on both if at all possible.  I want my readers to know that I honestly DO look on EVERY menu I eat from for vegan and gluten free choices.  But establishments that aren't exclusively set apart as "gluten free" or "vegan" eateries rarely have TRUE gluten free or vegan items, and when they do it is a scant few. 

I searched high and low for my readers and I believe I have found some items that would be fun to try.  In my mind one of the most CHALLENGING parts of a vegan and gluten free menu is the dessert portion.  It is not often I walk away from having FINISHED a piece of gluten free cake and thought to myself "Boy, that was a WINNER!  I'll have to make that for EVERYone I know." or "Geez, that was AWESOME!  I have to tell Marisa about that place, she'd LOVE it."  Yeah, didn't happen in this case either.

I'll begin with what has been deemed the "vegan Twinkie".  Otherwise known to the people at X's & O's Vegan Bakery as "Canoe Boats".  Whether it be "boats" or "twinkies", I was intrigued.  Although trying to remain healthy, they have come up with a dessert type snack that is a TOTAL waste of nutritional space.  But, sometimes...isn't that the point?  Yeah, of COURSE it is!

Meet the star of the show...

Strawberries & Cream Canoe Boats

Ingredients List (also listed on their website)

I tried the Strawberries and Cream Canoe Boats first.  The thought of strawberry flavored twinkie-type guts sounded GREAT.....at the time.  Ooey, gooey, creamy strawberry goodness; lovingly encased in airy golden cake.  Mmmm....sounds good huh?  I wish that's what I would have gotten when I bit into my canoe.

*I should preface my tasting with the fact that these were ordered off the internet.  I of course did NOT drive all the way to X's and O's up in New York.  But, I'm starting to think, this may be the only way for them to taste "good".....moving on.

First bite....HOLY dense cake Batman!  It was SO thick....and sad enough, dry.  *Half glass of water* (When I bite into something for the first time I take micro bites, especially with anything filled.  To get a proper impression of the item as a whole I first pick the layers of flavor apart, then reconstruct for my brain by taking normal bites of whatever.  Then I am mish-mashing the flavors together as the creator meant the whole package to be experienced.)  

I stuck my finger into the "filling".  It was no longer filling...it was sludge.  I IMAGINE this was supposed to be a light, fluffy whitish-pinkish confection, kind of...floating...in the middle of this cake.  But it had turned into a puddle of goo.  I'm not certain if this was in transit, as a part of consequence for my 2-day shipping or if we were dealing with amateur baking here.  My mind was leaning towards "amateur" because of the consistency of the cakes.

Frankly, even when I tried the filling and cake separate from one another...there was no strawberry flavor anywhere in the mix.  There was no flavor at all.  None...not even "cake".  Yellow cake has a distinct buttery flavor.  (Now before all the vegans get on their bandwagons with their celery spears or whatever...realize, I KNOW vegans don't consume eggs, dairy, meat or honey...which means any "butter flavor" would have been an extract.  I get it....really I DO.  I eat vegan foods quite often.)  There was no hint of ANY flavor.  Not even FLOUR.  It was pretty odd....

I of course would only recommend you try this product in an effort to blow my review out of the water.  Which...I TOTALLY welcome.  Go for it.  I've entertained the thought I got a "bad batch" or that shipping it just isn't an option for that particular item.  But, shouldn't they know that?  Not offer it, even on a 2 day ship then?

Sad enough, this is just the tip of my disappointment iceberg I fear.  For, I went NUTS and ordered 1 of every kind of "canoe" they offered.  >.< Oops...  My Mister always warns me about that.  But HEY...maybe the Vanilla, Cookies n Cream and Carrot Cake Canoe Boats don't taste like.....dense, flavorless cardboard.  Maybe...

Here's hoping....

AND...here is YOUR chance readers!  In the comments section or through email, let me know what products you have been wanting to try, but just haven't yet.  I'm willing to try just about anything that isn't sweetened with refined sugars.  Don't ask me to try that, I can't have refined sugars.  But, gluten free, vegan, organic, vegetarian....lemme know!  The world is our oyster...and yeah, I'll eat those too!

X's to O's Vegan Bakery on Urbanspoon

1 comment:

  1. Just from the photo they don't look very good lol

    I like a lot of Vegan food. Whether they are truly "Vegan" or not I would probably never know lol

    Thank you for stopping by my blog on my SITS day! I really appreciate it.